I was looking forward, and i was excited!
But suddenly the feelings has faded away...
I'm playing Track 13, my all time favorite.
I feel calm and i feel like pouring out my feelings...
What a coincident that Track 13 is same with my number too.
Lappie sound system damaged, and it made me not comfortable with the unpleasant sound.
Yet, i still plug in my earpiece to listen to my all time favorite.
Repeat and repeat...it will never make me bored.
Started don't know how to 大声地和你说话，
and i've learnt how to 心平气和地和说话。
Perhaps i'm trying to avoid it to provoked again,
perhaps i've learnt a lesson,
perhaps i'm disheartened...?
I wanted to tell you that i don't like it when you raise up your voice!
I knew that there is something bothering you,
but it doesn't mean that you should replace that discomfort to me.
I'm trying to bear it, with the word "sorry"...?
I prayed that i would have thousand and even million of patience for everything.
It is not the first time, not the second times...
It will have more to comes....trust me!
Been emailed with a friend for couple of weeks,
talking about craps and some personal issue.
I hide the truth, the truth that i started to agree.
I debated with that friend whenever we came across that particular topic.
Indeed it was a fact, but i can't do anything to change it.
I asked myself so many times over the same question,
i observed...
and I even tried to be devil to myself,
but the angel in me trying to manipulate me.
The angel and the devil take place of each other till i found that both are actually the same!
I wonder what is the God's intention for everything that i'm going through.
Since young, i realized the fact.
I observed and i see what had happening...
I wanted to ignore but it seems like i'm fail to do so!
Recently read this in a newspapers,
Taiwan had the new culture whereby the ladies held a wedding without groom.
The reason is because they are confidence to live alone.
I was pretty agree on that!
This two weeks i was asking myself,
Why do people got married?
What is the main reason?
Is it all because of the abstract feelings that i doubt of its existence.
When i noticed my surrounding, i doubt of marriage!
Why do people get marry and make yourself suffer?
Two person live together will definitely have argument,
and if the argument already became part of the life,
maybe a routine of daily life, then why do people still want to engage together?
If two person is living in the condition that both parties are calculative,
and being selfish when it comes to money talk.
Then why do people still want to engage together since there are so many possibilities that will certainly happen.
Perhaps single will bring more joy?
A lot of people had this mentality that single is pathetic and everyone live in this world can't be alone.
Hmm, i wondered!
Let's see,
If a woman would able to have a stable income, why do they need a man?
If a woman able to do everything by herself, why do they need a man?
And why do they need another person to interfere their life, with argument...or maybe with lot of trouble or problem?
Who said alone can't have fun too?
Hmm... I guess i'm standing in the circle that is difficult for me to step out of the circle!
Well, until now i don't see any positive side of marriage.
see no confident, hear no confident, feel no confident...
I believed of what 张小娴belief, and that's the reason why i love her prose.
