Today when I tidy up my room, I found my old dairy again, it kept in a box. I spent few hours to read it, and it reminds me a lot of things.
It has been long time and I guess is almost years I never jot down my feelings in dairy book, I mean not like those days that I will jot down everything every day.
I read through the dairy, and I just noticed that I'm being cheated for so long and being “stupid gal” for such a long period, I did realized it that time just that love is blind! I have been tolerate and being patient although I knew that they are something wrong in the relationship, being cheated…
Most of the content in the dairy is unhappy experience, which was the first time I met with this kind of affair. I should realize it earlier, I should know that he betray me, and I should leave him earlier…but I keep quiet just because I appreciate him and wish to avoid argument. Frankly, that is a stupid act actually!
His existence really mess up my life, I have been controlled by him, he trying to manipulate me by not allowing me to spend time with my friends, not allowed me to mix with my course male friends. I was studying in Co University and no longer like my secondary convent school, ok!!! Can you just make friends with the only same sex for your entire life and cannot talk to any male friends, I think that is ridiculous. Harlo, I'm not living in those country that like Jordan country or whatever, those women need to “wrap” themselves with black and long “baju kurung” and cover the whole body and only can show their eyes. As long it is normal friends and come on they are my classmate, and even in future u will also get to know your colleague either male or female. Is that conservative thinking?
Ok fine, he restricts me from knowing and spending time with my friends, the reason he gave is he cares about me! Are you sure? When I need him, he will never be my side! When I’m down, where will he be? And when I sick, he will never concern about me, and that is call “CARE”??? XXXX!!!! I never see him has male friends, but I knew that he has a lot of female friends, and the reason he gave is “they are my customer!” Opps…CUSTOMER! Customers that will sms those unrelated to the job messages wor… Customers will address EACH OTHER “SWEET HEART” or “DEAR” wor… Customers have the priority that he needs to bring his hp every where he goes at every moment wor, I mean EVERY WHERE is even during bathing hour (BATH ROOM)…hmm, I wonder that customer is REALLY IMPORTANT huh until need to bring his hp even to the toilet~ R u providing “SPECIAL SERVICES” to the customers? LOL… And oh ya, no one can “TOUCH” his hp, I mean just a “gentle touch”, or else you will know the consequences la…
I guess I was his “GF” during that time, am i? But why if I'm his gf he can even ignore my sms and my call? And we can lose contact for few days?(No sms and no phone call from him for few days) Hmm…I guess I'm not his gf, I'm just a “NURSE” or even “MAID” that he “HIRED” to take care of his mum!!!! But his family is really nice, just that I started to pity this old ladies that her son is so unfaithful~ not to me, but lie to her many things as well!
His mother is a good mother, she helps him to build up his business, she is not only financially support him, she even take care of her children and cooked for him even she is sick. But when his business is started to gain some profit, he never hand some money to her. The worst part is he even dares to shout at his mum and rather spend the money for himself! And that is really RUDE, I just keep quiet, no one can advice him because he thinks that he is the KING! His mum cares him by serving him food to him, in front of him! What kind of attitude is that? An old lady served food to her son??? Does he ever serve food to his mum or treat his mum just like how his mum loves him? His mum is too pampered her own children already and therefore this is what she get in return! *SO DEAREST MUM OT THERE, DO NOT EVER PAMPERED YOUR CHILDREN EVEN THU U LOVE THEM, LET THEM LEARN, OR ELSE U WILL END UP THIS!*
Indulge or pamper is not a bad thing actually, just that you must know the limit! I learn it from my parents and from my observation~ Even though my parents is not educated, but I’m great that they raise up me and my sister strictly and with love, therefore I keep emphasizing that parenting skill is very important is educate your children. I’m not saying my parents is the best, every family and every parent have their own parenting skill, and it is up to them to use what kind of skills. But appropriate skills will lead to positive outcome.
It seems like I’m a bit out of my topic huh~LOL! I believed in KARMA, what goes around, come around! The more you greedy, the more u will lose! Just like his business and the relationship, greedy will once make him feel joyful, but he never came across of the consequences! Regret will never make things become usual again, and you should learn from your mistake. I don’t believed in any revenge because I think that people who come out an idea for revenge is actually very childish, but I believed that my current happiness is the repay and a gift that I get after being treated so badly. The GOD is fair enough~
Most of the time, when people heard that a person is engaging in a miserable relationship, the common answer will be given is “just break up la!”. This is the answer that will be given by most of the people, and Miss Chee remind us about this Yea, and I'm glad that psychology and counseling students will never give this kind of answer, because we knew the process in dealing with this. *Never regret of studying PSYCHOLOGY* But some people will also explore more instead of giving that answer…
We always heard a lot of sorrow relationship around us, especially among friends. And most of the time even though the relationship cause a lot of sadness, but people will still continue the relationship and try to get things better just because they are still appreciate and love the person. But when it comes to deeply disappointed and only one person is putting effort in improving the relationship, the relationship will never work out and it will end!
My favorites author has said that, you can offend anyone but not girl, because u will never know what is in their mind. Hmm…The reason I stated this is I’m sure some people after reading this, some question will pop out such as “why she is so stupid last time?”, “why she want to post this and talk about her ex bad things…?” When you’r in love with that person, you will never see his/ her weaknesses, but when it come to the end, there will be only weaknesses that u will see but not the strengths.And that is the truth~
And that is Homo sapient! No matter what weaknesses a person have, the most intolerable is cheated by someone that you love!
This is Yuyumi, cute right? I was in Nilai since yesterday and i though that i can visit Yuyumi, but too bad she passed away yesterday morning, what a coincident huh :(
And this is another rabbit, his name is Ah Boon, i guess its is male :) The name sound like male je... One word :CUTE!!! I though i'm not able to see a rabbit at here, surprisingly Huea's friend lend it to us to play and take care of him, i was so excited due to my "first time" with a real rabbit, LOL!
Actually I'm afraid of "animal", but not kitten. Even a hamster that is so tiny i also do not dare to carry it, hmm...but yesterday i told myself that no matter how, i have to carry the rabbit because i can't resist it. It is too cute ald that make me keep thinking of it now~ But i think to take care of a rabbit is not an easy task, but i think i can try :) Not now, maybe in future, LOL
