Someone found you!!!

Yesterday (120608) i felt so touch by someone, someone who i never ever expect he knew what im hiding actually. And i drop my tear which i don't know why out of sudden i can drop my tears...is not because i was sad, i guess the reason is he see through my real me. i could not control my tear and it just happen naturally where i feel surprise too!

I feel secure whenever i see them, he and she is just like an angel...i used to take psychological test but i never so into the result, but the test that i took last few day i was so into the result which it is so accurate and it really reflect everything about me. I really felt so touch and it seem like no one ever know who is real me, but psychologist know everything about me, and i can proudly say that psychology is a beautiful thing ever in this world~

Since yesterday i keep thinking of my real side of me, and someone found her...she has been hiding for so many years, and at last she was found by others...it was a miracle!! Poor thing...you have been neglected and all this while you are just hiding in a dark cave...no one notice your existence, no one truly understand you, no one allow you to do whatever you want....no one... although you have been found, yet you still have to stay in the dark cave forever~ But at least there is people who notice you... BE STRONG!!!

060608

Yesterday suppose to jot down this but I got no time to do so, never mind today I made the summary of today and yesterday. I talked to Mr. Sin, and I learn a lot and gain a lot from him, he gave me Existential-Humanistic Therapy and Corey Integrative Therapy video. I appreciate what he told me, and so precious to have a counselor to tell me all the information as well appreciates to Miss Rachel.

Today I went to Pusat Pentadbiran to do some work, and I talked to Dilah. She is Rachel’s patient and I asked is it she is the one yesterday called to find Rachel and she said yes, but she said is not yesterday. This is not my main concern here, just that I met Rachel’s patient and she told me her problem which is she have memory problem. And when I get back to the office I asked Rachel about her condition, and she told me Dilah memory loss situation. And this came in my mind, somehow there is a lot peoples out there who don’t look like having any psychological problems, but they do!

I was so excited to explore more about this things, somehow counseling is really helpful and it bring hope to those peoples who could not solve their problem. And in the same time I learn something as well, I’m glad that I really learn something from Mr. Sin and Rachel.

Yesterday there is a patient from Kelantan came to seek for counseling; he is only 21^st years old. And before that the doctor that refer him to counseling said that this patient had kidney problem, I happen to met him outside the office and when I see him somehow I got a heartache feeling, because he is so young and he had kidney problem. It reminds me of “yee po”, and when I imagine the life that a patient need to go through of their life with kidney problem, I’m so fear of it! I pity him! But just now I asked Rachel about this patient problem, and she said that his illness is just a beginning and not so serious actually and this is not lead to his anxiety or stress. His main problem is came from work place, oh…thanks God! I just hope that there is no much people to seek counseling, not because I’m lazy, is because that I don’t want to see so many people suffer and have to attend a counseling. If there is not much people seek for counseling that mean that all the people are mentally healthy, hehe :)

4th of June

Everything was fine today, and im glad that everything going smoothly which is out of my expectation. Yet i still feel tired, i wish to sleep till NOON!!!

Today i online searching for some picture and i found this picture, RELAX- it will all be over soon!!! Kinda interesting!! Yes it will over soon and will be very soon!!!

Today while im waiting for KTM, i think alot...somehow i just don't wish this kind of feelings will occur in me! But it does! And seriously i don't know what to do... im confuse again! I...feel...helpless...hmm, should i think that way or should't ? Perhap it might be a fact, perhap...

I feel so hard!! (it is nth to do with my job actually)

Second day

Today is my second day of IA, i was so nervous!! Yes im still nervous althu is ald second day. I even nervous till i can't sleep well on the day before today, and im so TIRED!!! At least i learn something today, but i really feel stress when the counselor told me what task should i do...STRESS!!!

I hate the food at cafeteria in the hospital, u noe why? Because it is so expensive which i only ate a plate of rice with only vegetable and it cost so expensive!! How can i order for more dishes huh?? u wana kill me is it?? But thz God, i got home-cook for my dinner! Oh... thz alot my dearest roomie!! They cook dinner for me, and it is good to eat at home :) muaks!

I know i cant give up easily! I will learn sth from there and is time for me to change! But please dun push me, give me some time to adjust myself, or else i will fall down!! THINK POSITIVELY & MOVE ON!!!

Last but no least, I MISS DANIEL so much!!!! wish u were here :(

Tired

Today is my first day of attachment, and seriously i really feel tired althu it just the first day! The worst thing is i had been sitting inside the counseling room for the whole day doing nothing except, reading book, listening to song ( but that one just a while). And also "fishing", yeah! is FISHING!!!
Damn bored!!!

Tomorrow will be a nice day for me? Er... i hope so... i cant wait to handle a patient, at least is a new tried for me. But i dunno that the counselor allow me to do all this kind of job or not...

Er...i hate to take a crowded public transport la~ have to wait for the bus, the ktm and also lrt. Im so tired of it, really tired!! So headache!!!

I miss someone so badly!!!! I wana hug him all day long!!!!